Twas the Nite Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and I was guarding the house
Not a soul was stirring, except me and the mouse;
(and I have been trying to catch that mouse for a week;
get it in my terrier jaw and
give it a terrier shakedown but
it keeps hiding in the smallest of places…
then I try to dig it out but
get in trouble for scratching the furniture,
the woodwork, grrrrrrr….but anyway,
as I was saying…)

Not a soul was stirring except me and the *&%$! mouse;

The stockings were hung and as I lay by the chair,

I waited for Santa Paws to enter my lair;

The owners were asleep all snug in their bed,

Then I growled at the mouse and away he fled;

While waiting I chewed on a leftover scrap,

But it was quite cold and tasted like crap;

Then on the front lawn I heard such a clatter,

I jumped from the floor to see what was the matter;

Off to the window I ran in a dash,

Tore open the shutters and my teeth I did gnash;

The neighbor’s Christmas lights gave outside such a glow,

And I waited to hear a familiar ‘Hello’;

But what to my wandering eyes should appear,

A man on a sleigh pulled by eight small reindeer,

I started to growl but discontinued because,

I knew in that moment it was Santa Paws.

Faster than Greyhounds his reindeer they came,

And he whistled, and barked, and called them by name;

"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!

To the top of the porch with this great haul!

Now dart away! dart away! dart away all!"

He hadn’t come in and I was wondering why,

As off went the sleigh, way up in the sky,

But up to the house-top the reindeer they flew,

With the sleigh full of treats and Santa Paws too.

And then, in an instant, I heard on the roof

The plodding and pawing of each little hoof.

As I cocked my head and started turning around,

Down the chimney, Santa Paws came with a bound!



His suit made of fur, with some velveteen sashes,

His clothes were quite dirty and covered with ashes;

A shipment of treats he had flung in his sack,

One just for me and the rest for my pack.

His eyes, they twinkled and his dimples were merry!

His cheeks were like apples, his nose like a cherry!

His cute little smile made him seem quite zesty,

And the beard of his chin was as white as a Westie;

A corn-cob pipe he held tight in his lips,

And the smoke plumed out like the tail of a Spitz;

He had a round belly and was ever so jolly,

As he ran to the tree, as fast as a Collie.

He was chubby but swift, a cheerful old elf,

And I howled when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye was all that was ‘said’,

Which gave me to know there was nothing to dread;
He nibbled a cookie then went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

A finger to his nose, which was crooked and bent,

He tooted and laughed, then away he went;

He jumped in his sleigh, and with a crack of his whip,

Away they all flew at a mighty fast clip.

He yelled back “Be a good dog, keep guarding the house,

Merry Christmas too, but for dog’s sakes get that !*&$ mouse!”